As the title
of this blog suggests, a more formal system of extracting money at every
available opportunity exists, similar to the system in Australia, but probably to
a much more exquisite degree of extraction. I refer of course to charges, fees,
levies and taxes. Everywhere else in America seems to be able to provide free
Wi-Fi internet access - but not our hotel - they have the Wi-Fi, but not the
free. Likewise, travelling with United American airlines we discovered that
they charge a $25 per bag 'convenience' fee - convenient for whom? Certainly
not us! And what do they provide us, the customer with - well it's not fitting devices
on the airport terminal courtesy cars for alerting other customers of their
approach. Unlike the standard automobile, which has such devices as standard
issue, and are used freely and with great alacrity, the poor driver of the
aforementioned 'buggy' has to act as his own horn, verbally calling out 'Beep,
Beep' - at least it provides a measure of entertainment in listening to the
various combinations that different drivers have come up with, ranging from the
more traditional double-barrelled 'Beep' and spoken in a fairly even manner, to
the more energetic triple-barrelled 'Beep' spoken in a very quick fashion.
Perhaps there is a degree of competition amongst the drivers to see who can
come up with the most creative combination. A later version had the rapid, triple
barrelled approach, but with a slight twist - the last 'Beep' had a significant
guttural down-inflection - this was definitely my favourite.
After
breakfast went for a horse and buggy ride around Central Park - our driver
assured us that he was the only driver who offered a full hour rather than the
standard twenty minute ride, so weren't we lucky!! And it only cost an extra
$100. Regardless, he was very pleasant, and it was a lovely, relaxing way of
spending part of out last day in New York. It also turns out it is the
anniversary of John Lennon's birthday, so a plaque placed in the park by Yoko
is particularly poignancy, and she still lives in the same apartment nearby and
places a formal tribute there every year.
Got to the
airport in very good time, thanks to yet another bus driver with aspirations to
drive at Let Mans or something similar, although I did feel a bit safer with
this one - perhaps it seemed less dangerous being daylight.
For some bizarre reason we had to pass through immigration before we were able to board
our flight to little old Knoxville - perhaps the Mason-Dixon line mentality
persists.
Airport security? I'm glad you asked. In spite of all the security checks and getting us to disrobe and de-shoe, and X-raying bags and X-raying bodies, and not having any liquid in containers greater than 100 mls., one gets on the plane and orders a cup of tea (innocuous enough) which comes with a swizzle stick with which to stir - still innocuous? This stick is made of reasonably sturdy plastic, is approximately six inches in length and already comes with a fairly sharply pointed end. I am sure that in the right hands, a group of terrorists or fanatical ne'er-do-wells armed with cups of tea might be able to wreak untold havoc in the skies above America. I am surprised that Homeland Security have not yet made this a top priority in stamping out the clearly ever-present danger on the airways. I eagerly await their response to their word-recognition software (which I am confident will pick up on the use of the word 'ne'er-do-wells') to start tracking this blog, and then utilise my wealth of knowledge in the hitherto under-utilised arena of 'tea for terrorism'.
Made Knoxville by about 10 o'clock to be met by both Pam and Alex who had both braved the lateness of the hour as we now have more luggage than could be comfortably accommodated in one car with five passengers. It was lovely to see them again, and their home is much as my memory remembers it from nearly twenty years ago - except for the herd of turkeys roaming the back-yard - they look delicious already. Looking forward to having a more relaxing few days.
Made Knoxville by about 10 o'clock to be met by both Pam and Alex who had both braved the lateness of the hour as we now have more luggage than could be comfortably accommodated in one car with five passengers. It was lovely to see them again, and their home is much as my memory remembers it from nearly twenty years ago - except for the herd of turkeys roaming the back-yard - they look delicious already. Looking forward to having a more relaxing few days.
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